The Three Keys of Emotional Mastery
Imagine a crying 1 month old. The baby is fed, clean, rested and will not stop crying. You can treat an emotion as if it is this baby. This baby cannot stop crying on its own because its brain is still growing and learning how to calm down. The different areas of the brain have yet to make connections with each other so that the brain can relax the body.
To discharge the emotional energy and restore inner balance, this baby needs an adult who can do three things. These are the same three things that you must do when you address your own emotions:
- Be Grounded (Body-Centered)
- Be Present (Aware)
- Be Unconditional (Allowing)
Your body is the container of your emotions. Here are some techniques that you can use to ground into your body, and establish a calm body-centredness.
Grounding is an especially important skill to learn if you struggle to stay calm and balanced in your emotional world, because grounding techniques are helping you to ground your nervous system. In other words, you are helping your body to shift out of “fight or flight” alarm mode, into “rest and digest” settings.
Breathing: Breathing in special ways changes your brain waves, relaxes your nervous system, and expands and contracts your torso which allows you to sense the boundary of your body, and feel contained in that.
Basic Diaphragmatic (Abdominal) Breathing
Diaphragmatic breathing stimulates very important cranial nerve called the vagus nerve. This breathing cues your nervous system to relax.
Place your right hand on your belly and your left hand on the centre of your chest. Inhale through the nose. As you inhale, feel the belly rise. Count to 4 as you inhale. Exhale through the nose. As you exhale, feel the belly fall. Count to 4 as you exhale. Eventually extend the exhalation to be longer than the inhalation.
Breathe. Allow your full presence, your whole consciousness, to melt into the breathe. Feel your body relaxing into the breathe. Inhale expand the belly, exhale allow the belly to fall Feel the support of the chair or the ground beneath you as you relax into it. Strong spine. Soft muscles.
Think of your skin as the boundary between your inner life and the outer world. You are safely contained in your body. Inhale and notice the boundary expand. Exhale and notice the boundary contract. Continue to breathe.
Breathing for Emotional Healing and Alpha State
Place your right hand on your belly and your left hand on the centre of your chest. Inhale through the nose. As you inhale, feel the belly rise. Exhale through the mouth. As you exhale, feel the belly fall. Repeat 10 times. On the 10th inhale, hold your breath until your body lets go of the breathe spontaneously.
Grounding Techniques for Emotional Regulation:
The grounding techniques can help you to get settled in your body, which will make it easier to contain emotions.
Squeezing: In a sitting position, place your hands on the outside of your knees. Press your hands into your knees, and your knees into your hands. Press hard so that you feel the resistance. After 8 seconds, release. You will notice a sensation of relief. (Good for fear)
Palms: Take a seat. Place you hands on your lap with your palms facing up. Breathe. (Good for anger)
Bilateral stimulation: Hug yourself: One hand across your chest and under the armpit, the other hand across your chest and on the shoulder. Experiment with which hand feels best to have on your shoulder. Hold. Or, Cross Your legs.
Energy Currents: Join your thumb, middle finger, and ring finger at the tip. Do this with both hands and rest the back of your hands on your lap. (Good for stress or anxiety)
Heart Hands: While standing, sitting, or lying down, place your left hand on your thymus gland and your right hand on your heart. Allow the pinky of your left hand to touch and align with the index finger of your right hand. Focus gently on your heart and breathe.
If difficult emotions persist, there could be underlying and unconscious patterns or painful memories at play that hold the emotion in place. In this case, seeking the support of a healing professional may be helpful.
Rachel Anenberg, BA (Psyc), BSW, MSW (Master of Social Work) is a psychotherapist and spiritual coach providing integrative therapy. Her expertise as a psychotherapist come from a combined background and education in psychology, social work, and soul sciences.
Psychotherapy with Rachel can help you to heal depression, treat anxiety, recover from child abuse, adult abuse & narcissistic abuse. Genuine happiness is often out of reach because of unhealed past experiences. Psychotherapy can help you to get in control and feel naturally happy.
Disclaimer: All information obtained from Rachel Anenberg or anything written or said by her, is to be taken solely as advisory in nature. Rachel Anenberg and Freedom Healing Centre will not be held personally, legally, or financially liable for any action taken based upon their advice. The opinions expressed in this article are based on the research, studies, professional and personal experiences of the author.
The principles and techniques taught in this article are based on the personal and professional experience of the authour as a intuitive healer and psychotherapist, trained in Psychology (BA) and Social Work (MSW). Rachel Anenberg does not claim to be a doctor or provider of medical advice. The author is not a psychologist or psychiatrist and is not able to diagnose medical or psychiatric ailments.